Philosopher Alain de Botton is a FEELguide favorite, so when I came upon his breakdown of the 12 biggest myths and revelations about sex, written for Psychology Today, I had to share. De Botton writes: “Sex is always going to cause us headaches; it’s not something we can miraculously grow relaxed about. [We suffer privately, feeling] painfully strange about the sex we are either longing to have or struggling to avoid.” One of his most revealing insights in particular has to do with sex and marriage: “Sex, with its contrary emphases on expansiveness, imagination, playfulness, and a loss of control, must by its very nature interrupt this routine of regulation and self-restraint. We avoid sex not because it isn’t fun but because its pleasures erode our subsequent capacity to endure the strenuous demands that our domestic arrangements place on us.” You can read the entire top 12 by visiting I’ve also added a few videos below that I consider mandatory viewing on the subject.

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Photo courtesy of Psychology Today

Writer, editor, and founder of FEELguide. I have written over 5,000 articles covering many topics including: travel, design, movies, music, politics, psychology, neuroscience, business, religion and spirituality, philosophy, pop culture, the universe, and so much more. I also work as an illustrator and set designer in the movie industry, and you can see all of my drawings at

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