Keep The Fire Burning: 8 Tips For Long-Term Couples

by • August 17, 2021 • Love and RelationshipsComments (0)782

It’s not always easy to keep a relationship’s flame burning, especially if you’ve been with your partner for a long time. However, it’s crucial to your relationship’s success and longevity that you do keep it burning. When your passion and enthusiasm for your relationship fades, the chances are that your relationship will end. If you’ve put years of work into a relationship, then letting it die is very sad and should be avoided at all costs.

In this article, you’ll find out eight effective tips for keeping your relationship’s flame burning.

Spend Time Together

The most obvious way of keeping your relationship’s fire burning is to spend time together. As a relationship ages, you’ll probably begin spending time apart from your partner. If you begin to notice that you spend very little time with each other during the week, then you should begin making an effort to do things with your partner. Take them out to restaurants, for hikes, and to museums. You can even stay indoors and watch movies with your partner. Spending time together is the most effective way of rekindling your bond with your partner.

Make Memories Together

When you spend time together, don’t just rush through everything. Try to make memories together. Enjoy yourselves and let go of your inhibitions. When a relationship first begins, all you do is talk to each other and make each other laugh. Try to bring that affection and connection back into your relationship. Visit destinations and places that you’ve always dreamed of going to. You’ll forever associate these places with your partner and that will strengthen your bond together. Be open to doing things that your partner wants to do as well; don’t just do things that you want to do – that’s not how memories are made.


Be spontaneous! If you’ve gotten into a routine where you come home from work every day, kick off your shoes and sit down on your computer until it’s time for bed, it’s time to make a change. Take your partner out for spontaneous dates and activities. While planning things is good, it’s also good to surprise your partner. Give small gifts to your partner, like flowers for example. Bring your partner breakfast in bed. Let them know that you’re always thinking about them and that you love them. 

Express Your Love

If you love your partner, then tell them. If you don’t tell them then how are they to know? Randomly express your gratitude and love for your partner. Tell them how much you love them, how much you need them, and how you couldn’t live without them. Small things like this will help to build a strong emotional connection.

Don’t just express your love verbally, express it physically too. Go out of your way to help your partner with anything they’re struggling with. If they need money, then lend it to them. If their train is late, go and pick them up. Do anything that you can to bond with your partner and show them that you love them.

Don’t feel too shy to express yourself to your partner. If you want to spontaneously get up and tell them how much you adore them and love them, then do it! If you feel like smothering them with kisses and hugs, then do that too. The more affection you show them, the more they’ll show you.

The Bedroom…

You can’t forget about the bedroom. If you don’t have a sexual connection with your partner, it’ll be hard to keep your relationship alive. Touch your partner, kiss them, and tell them that you love them. When they arrive home after work, pick them up and carry them over the threshold.

In the bedroom, spice things up. Introduce adult sex toys into your bedroom and live out each other’s sexual fantasies. Draw up a bucket list of things that you want to do with your partner. Make sure that you’re open to their suggestions and seriously consider anything that they’re interested in doing, although if you’re uncomfortable voice your discomfort to your partner.

Try New Things Together

Another great way to refresh your relationship is to try new things together. When you’re spending time together, why not try new activities like extreme sports or attending lectures together? You could also consider attending spiritual classes, like yoga and meditation retreats. If you have a shared religious interest, then attend religious seminars together. You could also attend museums, galleries, and musical venues. Trying new things together is a great way to learn about the world, and about each other. It’s also a fantastic way to keep your relationship’s flame burning.


We live in an age where technology is unavoidable at work and at home. That does not mean however that you have to spend every free minute of your day using your phone. As we mentioned earlier, instead of picking your phone or laptop up as soon as you get home, spend time with your partner. Play a game of chess or just talk to each other. There’s so much that you can do that doesn’t rely on technology. Technology is also very bad for your health. Frequent use of phones and laptops can lead to eye strain and headaches. Try to disconnect from technology and connect to your partner.


If you’re really struggling with keeping your relationship’s flame alive, then why not consider attending counseling together? Counselors will be able to talk you through any of your issues and help you to resolve your problems with each other.  It’s not always cheap though, so make sure that you both commit to it and try to get the most that you can out of it.

There are online directories that list local counselors near to you. You can also go and visit a marriage or relationship therapist; therapists will try to analyze the psychological catalysts for your relationship’s breakdown, which makes them much more effective than counselors, but also much more expensive.

Once you’ve committed yourself to a marriage or relationship, it’s your responsibility to do your best to keep your relationship’s flame burning. Take all of the points in this article into consideration, and do your best to show your partner that you love them.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash



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