When someone is obsessed with one thing in particular they tend to see or connect that thing to everything around them. For instance, I would give my left nut to see Barbra Streisand Wednesday night here in Montreal, but chances are I will end up keeping my nut, leaving me with only one option left — pay the full price for the tickets which would be the equivalent of the GDP of a small African country.
So chances are I will not be seeing Babs, which translates into me thinking about the woman all the time. When I came across this incredible new opera house and theatre recently unveiled in Tianjin, China I thought to myself: “That place needs a Barbra Streisand concert with me front row centre.” After the concert there would be a huge block party celebration outside on the front steps with DJs, champagne, and hundreds of happy, beautiful, dancing people (comprised mostly of hunky Spanish and Brazilian beefcake models in tanktops and speedos) there to rejoice at the presence of her Majesty Queen Barbra.
At the stroke of midnight, Barbra and I would be whisked off to our hot air balloon where we would talk for hours under the stars about life and love and everything in between as the balloon takes us to her magical Malibu estate where we would have tea and cakes as we watch the early morning sunrise. Robert Redford would join us for a lunchtime dip in the pool, and later that evening me, Babs, Robert, and all of Babs’ closest friends would curl up in her screening room and watch The Way We Were. Afterwards, I would sneak up to her hot son Jason‘s bedroom and by morning Jason and I would be engaged. Barbra Streisand would finally be my mother-in-law, I would write an opera about her amazingness, and together we would all return to the Tianjin opera house for the opera’s world premiere with me, Barbra, and our great big happy Streisand family sitting front row centre.
To learn more about this stunning building be sure to visit FRAME. And for more from my future mother-in-law be sure to visit BarbraStreisand.com, and pick up her brand new album Release Me on iTunes.
