VICE recently caught up with John Waters to talk about the legendary director’s upcoming live Christmas show A John Waters Christmas in Tarrytown, New York on December 3rd. VICE’s Nick Gazin was admittedly floored when Robert Johnson, the show’s promoter, asked him if he’d like to interview John to help spread the world: “I came very close to dying right there on the spot,” Gazin writes. The following is a tiny excerpt from the interview:
VICE: [Tell me] about your Christmas experiences, but I suppose you should save that for the actual event.
JOHN WATERS: No, you can ask me about them! I love Christmas, but I understand that some people hate it! It’s a very stressful time. I talk about everything concerning Christmas, including what I hate about it—and there are a lot of things I hate about it. Things like the behavior at Christmas parties, recycling gifts, gift baskets… Gift baskets should contain cigarettes, candy, and drugs, things you would never buy for yourself.
VICE: What can you tell me about your Christmas show at Tarrytown?
JOHN WATERS: It’s my guide for how to get through the holidays—how to turn it into sexual eroticism or revenge. If you’re a crackhead, go Christmas caroling and scare the neighbors. You can’t get arrested for that. Go through your family’s scrapbooks and find the ugliest photos of your relatives and put them on Christmas decorations. Hang them on the tree and people will think it’s funny.
The entire interview is an absolute must-read, with Waters sharing his stories about how his entire family is coming to his place this Christmas (he’s already decorated his electric chair with garland and Christmas lights), what happened when he asked John Travolta what he thought of P.T. Anderson’s cinematic takedown of Scientology entitled THE MASTER, and his lifelong dream of becoming a beatnik. You can read it in full by visiting VICE.com, and to pick up your tickets for John Waters’ December 3rd Christmas show in Tarrytown simply head over to TarrytownMusicHall.org.